Reboots I don’t want part 2,347 – “Starship Troopers”

Look - sweaty men with tennis balls on sticks! Kill 'em all!

I seem to remember writing something about this not too long ago, but it seems that cooler egos have not prevailed and we must yet again suffer the ideas of fools with more cash than smarts – “Starship Troopers” is being rebooted.

Producer Neil Moritz – he of the hilariously ill-named production shingle ‘Original Film‘ – proposes a new version of Robert Heinlein’s classic slice of reactionary military SF, this time written by the fellows who brought you “Thor” and one of the drafts of “X-Men: First Class”.

My snark aside, there is a reason to do this – and it is, of course, financial.

Director Paul Verhoeven’s gloriously icky, gruesome sci-fi bug hunt cost a lot of money to make in 1997 and made a pittance back in return.  In the ever-predictable world of Hollywood, the brand recognition of a high-concept (can you get any higher concept than the title “Starship Troopers”?) means that much of the hardest work is done and it’s time to go back to code and see if a second swing at the book can treat it more seriously and get rid of all that pesky European satire and  nudity and NPH as a psychic Nazi (NSFW arachnid bug-busting at the link).  The good stuff, in short.

This, to me, is one of those remakes that really doesn’t need to be pursued.  The original movie has its flaws and may have slightly dated effects work but its core satire is still undeniably effective, the cast of blank-faced young things spouting fascist justifications for their genocidal actions can’t be improved upon (terrible actors, yes, but terrible actors expertly directed to give a human face to some fairly repugnant ideas) and the tone of the film would probably be summarily jettisoned to make a crappy, ideas-free shoot-em-up for the Taylor Lautner generation.

No NPH? No sale.

 

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