This is why we can’t have nice things…

Sometimes, the world makes you stifle a tear at the stupidity which imperils us all.

UK patrons of this year’s left-field, arthouse hit, the silent French film “The Artist”, have been demanding refunds per this story on Den of Geek.

Their reason? They were somehow unaware that this silent tribute to the silent film era doesn’t have any dialogue.

In other news, patrons of Steven Spielberg‘s latest, War Horse, were probably granted refunds when it wasn’t about a sassy ginger cat eating lasagne.

I’ve experienced this kind of cinema-going fail vicariously before – when seeing “Amelie” at the cinema, some of my fellow ticket holders were most aggrieved to find out that it was a French film, with subtitles, and left almost as promptly as they arrived. I suppose it’s possible to not read reviews and just turn up on the basis of word of mouth without knowing that you’re seeing a film not in the English language, but I confess to being quite surprised that people go to the cinema without knowing a little bit about the movie.

I mean, when you look at the trailer for “The Artist”, there are a few clues that this isn’t your usual Hollywood fare.

1) It’s in black and white. Like, all of it.

2) Nobody speaks. Not a word.

3) Bruce Willis, transforming robots, explosions and fast car chases do not figure greatly in the proceedings.

I am going to throw myself out on a limb here and suggest that most potential patrons of this film had a clue or two as to its provenance before setting out for the cinema and really deserve to be told by Odeon cinemas that they can watch the film in all it’s word-free, black-and-white beauty and enjoy it for what it is and not what they thought it was going to be.

Besides – this lovely wee fella is in it. And worth every penny of your ticket price.

This film has a Terrier in it. It is, therefore, magnificent. All other arguments are void.

My inner film snob is about fit to find these dolts and smack them upside the head with a really bulky copy of Film Comment, Jason Bourne style.

It’s long been my belief that we should just expect people to be blithering idiots and calibrate our expectations accordingly and this kind of story just reinforces every prejudice that I hold dear – the masses are asses.

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