Just check the date for me – it’s not the 1st of April, is it?
Offbeat China (via the EW magazine ‘PopWatch’ blog) reports that Chinese officials, ever vigilant for potential affronts to moral rectitude and charged with upholding national strength in the face of Western corruption have decided to make a few trims to the “Titanic” 3D re-release.
How do we put this? Kate’s Winslets are no longer present within the release print in China – the fairly tame and chaste nudity in the life-drawing scene has been excised to prevent audience members from reaching out and responding publicly to the movie’s 3D make-over.
Does this kind of thing work both ways, I wonder. If any of Arnold Schwarzenegger’s 80s action flicks are going to get a 3D spit-and-polish, does this mean that his impressive pectorals will be edited out to stop similar public examples of virtual groping? And, more to the point, has this kind of insanity happened in a cinema near you?
I’m pretty sure that the pressing problem with 3D is watching a long movie and not having your brain revolt and try to escape your cranium during the second hour of the film, so the idea that audiences are so utterly swept up in the wonder of three-dimensional film that they reach out and try to grab the screen smacks to me of our old friend censorship getting a techno make-over.
Not that something that odious would happen, right?
I’m due to take in this 3D re-revisit to Titanic on Saturday, so I’ll be able to report back on the degree to which I am overwhelmingly corrupted by Kate W’s assets in towering 3D – personally, I suspect that Billy Zane’s rug is going to be a far more terrifying sight…