China to “Titanic 3D” viewers – look, but don’t touch. On second thought, don’t look.

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Just check the date for me – it’s not the 1st of April, is it?

Offbeat China (via the EW magazine ‘PopWatch’ blog) reports that Chinese officials, ever vigilant for potential affronts to moral rectitude and charged with upholding national strength in the face of Western corruption have decided to make a few trims to the “Titanic3D re-release.

How do we put this?  Kate’s Winslets are no longer present within the release print in China – the fairly tame and chaste nudity in the life-drawing scene has been excised to prevent audience members from reaching out and responding publicly to the movie’s 3D make-over.

Does this kind of thing work both ways, I wonder.  If any of Arnold Schwarzenegger’s 80s action flicks are going to get a 3D spit-and-polish, does this mean that his impressive pectorals will be edited out to stop similar public examples of virtual groping?  And, more to the point, has this kind of insanity happened in a cinema near you?

I’m pretty sure that the pressing problem with 3D is watching a long movie and not having your brain revolt and try to escape your cranium during the second hour of the film, so the idea that audiences are so utterly swept up in the wonder of three-dimensional film that they reach out and try to grab the screen smacks to me of our old friend censorship getting a techno make-over.

Not that something that odious would happen, right?

I’m due to take in this 3D re-revisit to Titanic on Saturday, so I’ll be able to report back on the degree to which I am overwhelmingly corrupted by Kate W’s assets in towering 3D – personally, I suspect that Billy Zane’s rug is going to be a far more terrifying sight…

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5 Comments

Filed under Films, Geekery

5 responses to “China to “Titanic 3D” viewers – look, but don’t touch. On second thought, don’t look.

  1. Her boobs would be like 30 feet around if I saw this on the IMAX screen near here…I hadn’t thought about that before…

    • Thank goodness that the good censors of China have our back on this vitally important topic.

      Chinese censors – genius level trolls or genuinely, actually crazy folk?

  2. Tom Bowen

    I remember when our morals were such that it was considered improper to show films exposing women’s beasts. I think we were better for that moral rectitude. You can make the argument that it’s only skin. But if a bathing suit covers it, then it is a private part. What part of private do you not get? Lust is not healthy to a society. Remember Rome?

    • Everybody is entitled to an opinion – so I’m publishing yours, lest I be accused of the kind of censorship that I was writing about in my original post.

      But, please understand, I find your opinion so absurd as to be either (A) a joke, in which case, congratulations on personifying an absurd relic or (B) genuine, which is worrying.

      Kudos on making me laugh, if nothing else…

  3. Pingback: Titanic 3D in China | Asian Living.me

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