Monthly Archives: October 2012

“Predator” on Blu-Ray – Hi-Def Halloween Horror

If it’s reference quality video you want…look elsewhere?

It’s a fact little disputed amongst serious scholars of bone-crunching, gore-spattered, pectoral-pumping, 1980’s cinema that John McTiernan‘s action/sci-fi/horror mash-up “Predator” is a pivotal movie of the decade and ranks as some of iconic star Arnold Schwarzenegger‘s best on-screen work.

Shorn of many of the reactionary politics which accompanied many action-thrillers of the decade and focussing instead on creating one of the best variations on “The Most Dangerous Game” that we’ve seen on-screen, “Predator” doesn’t waste a second of its 107 minute running time and lives longer in the memory because of it – it would take a real bonehead to mess up this premise and the taut script by Jim and John Thomas thankfully provides director McTiernan with an opportunity to stage tense, violent and genuinely thrilling set-pieces which still resonate 25 years later.

25 years since this film opened?  Oy vey.

The set-up is simplicity itself – an elite team of covert military extraction specialists led by Major Dutch Schaefer (Alan Alda…Schwarzenegger) take on the job of entering a South American conflict zone to retrieve lost government personnel and instead find themselves on the wrong end of a terrifying big game hunt waged by an alien big game hunter whose dental bills must be crippling.

METAL!

It’s to the Thomas’ credit that they find ways to subvert expectations and misdirect the audience until the runaway train of the main plot kicks in and never lets up for the remainder of the running time.  Sparing as it is, there is at least some attempt to lend Schwarzenegger, Carl Weathers and the various tree-trunk necked cast passing character development amidst the shoot-outs, last-gasp escapes and deliriously homoerotic bro-bonding elsewhere in the film.

Things that McTiernan’s direction gets abundantly right are demonstrated by the action sequences – each one is shot in what would come to be recognized as the director’s signature style, which marries frenetic bouts of mayhem with always easy to understand spatial staging and razor-sharp editing.  The tension is always palpable and the gore is done with something approaching restraint – limbs are lopped, unfortunate soldiers are skinned and somehow none of it seems aggressively horrible or leeringly adolescent.

“Take that, nature!”

What’s honestly pleasing about this film is the way that it gets to have its cake and consume it greedily – whilst we get to enjoy early scenes of Dutch and crew laying waste to all comers with an array of absurdly fetishized military hardware (culminating in the scene captured above), it rapidly becomes clear that all of the mini-guns, grenade launcher attachments and over-developed biceps in the world are precisely no use whatsoever against the alien protagonist of the title when it starts hunting them in earnest.  There is always, as Uncle George Lucas would later remind us in Star Wars: Episode One – The Phantom Menace“, a bigger fish.

The mano-a-alien showdown at the end still thrills, wisely devoting a significant amount of on-screen time to beating the living crap out of the otherwise impervious Austrian Oak and making the certainty of his ultimate triumph rather more of a contest than it had been to this point – it’s also fun to see Dutch’s character pushed to rely less on his undisputed muscles and more on his adaptive, intellectual abilities to best the universe’s premier big-game hunter, deploying a valley’s worth of improvised traps and tricks to slow down old crab-face before the two can finally face each other down.

You can see why the sequels, spin-offs and remakes resulted from this utterly enjoyable original flick – but it’s telling that few of them (arguably Nimrod Antal‘s “Predators” being the best) have ever approached the seamless blend of horror beats, action gags and sci-fi coolness that McTiernan’s film has to spare.

The Blu-Ray, by the way, is fine – save for some utterly misguided digital makeover techniques being applied to the print, which result in all the cast’s craggy faces being uniformly de-lined and as feature-free as a Vogue cover model – and has much to recommend it.  If you can get past the layer of virtual polyfilla being applied to the actors, the picture itself is fine if devoid of the kind of film grain which you would expect to see in a film of this vintage.

The sound mix is pretty good – guns boom, explosions shake your subwoofer and Alan Silvestri‘s magnificent score jockey for aural position betwixt your speakers and don’t step on each other’s shoes too often.   Extras are reasonably generous – there’s a making-of, some deleted scenes and trailers, a McTiernan commentary and a text commentary by a film historian (it’s a living, I guess…).

If you’ve ever thought about buying the movie, this is fairly definitive stuff and it looks and sounds as good as it ever will, shy of what a hypothetical director-supervised edition for the thirtieth anniversary edition might offer up.  Not one for purists, but certainly a disc that fans should enjoy.

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“Pacific Rim” Propaganda Pleases…

Of next summer’s crop of would-be blockbusters – “Oblivion”, “After Earth”, “R.I.P.D.” – the one which I’m looking forward to most of all is Guillermo Del Toro‘s Earth versus Giant Robots adventure, “Pacific Rim”.

Comic-Con “Pacific Rim” image via Nerdist.com

The visionary genius behind “Pan’s Labyrinth“, “Cronos” and erstwhile cinematic translator of Mike Mignola‘s “Hellboy” comics getting his teeth into giant mech-suited pilots laying the smacketh downeth uponeth Alien monsters?  Just take my money – now.

Friday October 12th saw Del Toro and collaborator Travis Beacham appearing at New York Comic Con to build awareness in the hearts and minds of the nerd faithful and do the panel thing – all very nice for folks in NYC, not much help to those of us languishing outside the U.S. and needing our Mecha fix.

I’m assuming that we’ll get to see a trailer when Warner Brothers release “The Hobbit” this December – I’m counting the days, clearly.

 

 

 

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Uwe Boll X Zombies = Fun?

It seems utterly beyond belief that this meeting of the minds hasn’t happened until now.  Legendary Z-grade auteur and astute money man Uwe Boll – in his capacity as producer – has gone zombie.

I’m sure he has a lovely personality…

Sensibly, and perhaps understandably given his status as go-to punching bag for any genre film fan bemoaning the questionable standard of modern exploitation cinema, Boll has chosen to stick behind the camera on this one, leaving the orchestration of gory gut munching and head-shot kills to a pair of Italian film makers.

Intrigued?  Check out the trailer here.

It has a weird, cg-enhanced look which doesn’t entirely work for me – the military base location looks less like the foreboding backdrop to a zombie versus bad-ass soldiers showdown  and reminds me more of an episode of BBC Three‘s excellent ‘Canines Gone Wild!’ show, “Dog Borstal” (something tells me that grumpy dog trainer Mic Martin could take down any errant undead brain muncher with a roundhouse kick and a ‘Leave it!’).

Still, as a fan of most horror flicks which aren’t from the “Saw”/”Hostel“/blah school of torture and nit-wittery, I can always find it in my heart to enjoy a spot of gross make-up, the world gone to heck and intense actors wrestling manfully with dialogue that most daytime soap operas might reject as being a tad bit heavy on the exposition.

It can’t be as bad as “House of the Dead”, can it?  (Warning – NSFW video link contains gore. And ass hats)

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“Battlefield: Bad Company” to become hilarious(ly violent) TV show…

 

“Are we shooting people today or what, Sarge?”

Well, this is a turn-up for the proverbial books  – Adam Sandler‘s Happy Madison production company are involved in bringing DICE & EA’sBattlefield: Bad Company” series of first person shooter games to TV as an action comedy.

I am…cautiously intrigued?

I’m not the biggest fan of the FPS genre – where are the Elven folk? Why can’t I play as a plucky Dwarven Tank? – but this property probably lends itself well to film/tv adaptation as it echoes movies like “Three Kings” and “Kelly’s Heroes” and has slightly more of a sense of black comedy inherent in its premise than the more sober likes of “Call of Duty” and “Medal of Honour“.

More on this project over at Eurogamer…

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(Not) Lazy Sunday…

How to confuse and bewilder a simple mind with one easy device…

Every family has their resident, unpaid technology whisperers – the one, uniquely calming soul who speaks fluent gadget, effortlessly tweaks new mobile phone settings and performs that most essential of modern miracles, making the internet work.

In my family, I am that unfortunate soul.

The major problem with that, of course, is that I’m entirely self-taught and nowhere near being a network engineer, so the major stuff which goes wrong is absolutely beyond my ken.  Power-cycle a router? Can do.  Install software and do updates?  No problem.  Reinstating an internet connection which is shown as being connected but fervently resisting any attempt to allow any device in the house to connect to the internet?  Utterly bewildering.

After the best part of two hours on the phone with my ISP’s technical support team (and three hours of shutting down, starting up, plugging in ethernet cables and grimacing before that), we finally got the damn thing working again by jiggling a pin in a small, hidden port to reset the device entirely.   It feels insulting, somehow.

Yes, I have tried turning it off and on again…

I’ve had better Sunday afternoons, let me assure you.  But everything appears to be working now and Mrs Rolling Eyeballs has been able to blog again and work so I feel as though my wasted hours of first world problems, switching on and off again, obtaining ethernet cables and obsessive tea drinking were all worth the dubious pleasure of chatting with outsourced call centre staff who couldn’t understand my not especially difficult to understand Northern British accent, wouldn’t accept that my PC’s settings were not located where they expected them to be and the sudden, inexplicable collapse of my laptop battery.

It sounds like a horrendous cliché, but it’s true – you really don’t miss the things you take for granted until they’re snatched away by the dread faeries of soul-crushing tech fail…

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Today’s Band You’ll Hate – Blood On The Dance Floor…

 

Gentlemen, Jareth from “Labyrinth” called – the Goblin King wants his hair back…

You may blame/praise Merl at Metal Hammer magazine for this one – as host of the venerable UK rock magazine’s podcast, he today introduced me to Floridian Crunkcore scene kids, Blood on the Dance Floor and befuddled my poor mind.

As observed on the podcast, the band look like the dark aftermath of a backstage fight between Black Veil Brides, ‘Shout at the Devil‘ era Motley Crue and British Black Metal loons, Cradle of Filth (they of the charming ‘Jesus is a C…’ t-shirt), yet sound all electronic, spacey and not very metal at all.

My poor brain – it is confused.

Have a listen to the band’s “Unforgiven” on You Tube – it’s like the video mastering facility accidentally mashed up some 80’s glam band’s power ballad video with some hipster European indie-dance track and this absurdity ensued.

All very big with The Kids, I don’t doubt – though a tune would be just peachy…

 

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Like father, like gun…

 

If it’s Monday, I must be destroying large swathes of Moscow…

How can the same shizz happen to the same guy…five times?

Yes, after Len Wiseman‘s Die Hard 4.0 (“Live Free or Die Hard to folks Stateside) relaunched John McClane‘s cinematic adventures a few years ago, we’re due another go-round with NYC’s most lethal killing machine/proud pop.

Another tough day at the office…

And, indeed, it appears that this instalment of the “Die Hard” series is ‘take your kid to work day’, as McClane Junior is along for the ride and the proverbial apple

And here it is – the first teaser trailer for February 2013’s “A Good Day to Die Hard”, directed by bonkers Irishman John Moore (his previous work includes “Max Payne“, “The Omen” remake, “Flight of the Phoenix” and “Behind Enemy Lines“).

Things explode, young women are incapable of keeping their clothes on around him, Ode to Joy is playing all the time – it’s as comfortable as a pair of worn-in shoes, frankly.

See you down the front on February 14th (or thereabouts), fight fans.

 

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Dark Passion Play?

 

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Yep, fellow Nightwish fans, this one’s for us.

In a rather unexpected announcement on Monday – which you can read here – the band announced that they were parting company with singer Anette Olzon, who in turn replaced much-loved original singer Tarja Turunen  in 2007.

It’s all a bit out of left field, frankly.  Anette missed a show on the band’s current US tour due to hospitalization, recuperated and then played one last show a day or two later before Monday’s announcement arrived and made me do the proverbial spit take.

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A paranoid side of me was convinced that the Nightwish show that Mrs Rolling Eyeballs and I are going to see in November was going to be cancelled – that hasn’t transpired, as the band have recruited former After Forever and current ReVamp vocalist Floor Jansen to complete the rest of the ‘Imaginaerum‘ tour.

I’m glad that I get to see Nightwish, and I’m sure that Floor is going to be a fantastic guest singer, but I’m sad that I don’t get to see Anette play with the band.  She may not have had Tarja’s insane vocal range, but her voice was distinctly different to a lot of the singers on the symphonic metal scene.

Witness one of my favourite Nightwish songs, “The Islander” – not your soaring, octave-busting kind of song, but certainly one of the songs that I looked forward to perhaps hearing Anette sing live.  C’est la vie – perhaps we’ll get to see her in the UK with whatever project she fronts next?

A lot of fans are eagerly speculating who Nightwish will audition to be their next lead singer – speculation which might yet run and run as I’m fairly certain that the band are taking much of 2013 off to allow keyboard player/founding member/awesome dude Tuomas Holopainen to work on a solo record.

But if they want to get somebody with amazing vocal range, Diabulus In Musica’s Zuberoa Aznárez rocks…

 

 

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