A hairy man sorts out his foes…
Screencaps? Faffing about with my video software? Must be summer movie trailer time.
Behold! It’s “Thor: The Dark World”, with a teaser glimpse for your perusal and edification!
Loki is Emo – confirmed…
Expect to see his Norse Godliness in modern-day London, hints at a romantic triangle, lots of action and a last-minute cameo appearance by Loki-chops, with Tom Hiddleston apparently channelling Dani Filth from CoF for reasons best known to the costume department. Me likey.
“Thor: The Dark World” opens in good, bad and indifferent cinemas on October 30th in the UK and on November 8th in the US.
No sooner has Gerard Butler saved 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue from wholly plausible and in no way absurd destruction at the hands of terrorists in “Olympus Has Fallen” than another screen hunk is up to the same patriotic larks.
Hollywood does love high concept duplication of effort, after all: we’ve had duelling volcano, asteroid, CGI Insect fable, Robin Hood and even Alfred Hitchcock films since 1990, so it’s no surprise that 2013 sees not at least two movies set amidst the smouldering ruins of a White House under terrorist attack. Puzzingly, schlockbuster DTV studio The Asylum have been entirely remiss by not cranking out a Z-budget, franchise-aping homage to this trend. Perplexed ain’t the half of it…
The aforementioned “Olympus…” is now out and garnering decent notices – as much for saving Gerard Butler from the inglorious rom-com movie jail he was seemingly doing time in. The redoubtable Den of Geek even dubbed it a better “Die Hard” movie than the apparently dire “A Good Day To Die Hard“, which probably suggests that multiplex audiences might have preferred to see John McClane duking it out in the Oval Office than in Red Square.
Late June, then, sees the arrival of Jamie Foxx, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Channing Tatum (and Channing Tatum’s omnipresent nipples) in serial White House mangler Roland Emmerich‘s “White House Down” and a new trailer for said action opus has arrived, bringing with it amazing scenes of America under siege, panicky news people reporting on artfully staged chaos and Mr Tatum’s sweatily exuberant protuberances bewitching all who encounter them (I understand that Channing’s bits have their own three picture deal at Fox).
I’m intrigued to see what Roland Emmerich does with an unabashed action movie for a change – his stock in trade is the contemporary disaster movie and whilst he’s an old hand at laying waste to global monuments and iconic buildings, that doesn’t necessarily mean that he’ll be able to deliver on the tropes that fans of earnest blokes in increasingly dank vests wielding sub-machine guns seek from their Friday night frag fests.
The film opens on June 28th in the US, and in September in the UK. It’s almost as if the subject matter won’t resonate quite so much with us cynical Brits…
After months of drip-fed stills, we’ve finally got a first look at the new “Riddick” movie in motion.
It’s a teaser trailer in the truest sense of the word, clocking in at a brief 22 seconds, but no doubt acts as the outrider for a longer glimpse at What Vin Did Next – perhaps due in front of an audience primed and ready for the vehicular smack-down of “Fast Six“?
Whilst many an online movie outlet has been downright sniffy about the low-key publicity campaign that Diesel and longtime collaborator David Twohy have been engaged in – most updates on the project have come directly via Diesel’s Facebook group – I can’t help but feel that this strategy is a smart one which might be copied by any new media-savvy star. Why not convert that millions-strong Twitter following into engaged consumers storming the box office come Friday night and the release of your new flick?
Films increasingly cost an absurd amount of money to make, and any way of engaging and reaching out to people who will get the word out to their friends and family about a new release can only help a film’s opening weekend in a marketplace which is more competitive than ever. This third outing for “Riddick” is, after all, a more stripped-down effort than the second film’s budget-straining, Sci-Fantasy universe building, so surely any attempt to intelligently engage with an audience who want to see the film has to make more sense than blanketing television channels with adverts that Tivo owners just zip through?
We’ll see who has the last laugh when the film opens in the US on September 6th.
So, how do you follow-up last year’s barely seen, low-budget success d’estime, “The Avengers”? It came and went from theatres in about a week, hardly made a dent at the box office. I don’t blame you for never having heard of it.
Luckily, somebody’s decided to let Joss Whedon out of movie jail and given him the chance to make amends for bombing so badly last time out by making something with sure-fire commercial potential – a can’t-miss, four-quadrant, summer blockbuster of a flick.
He’s only gone and made a Shakespeare adaptation! Why, you’d almost think that he’d just made a billion dollar superhero smash and thus had carte blanche to follow his muse, call in some mates and make the Bard relevant to Generation Twitter. Such absurdity! It’s almost as if you have to direct a successful movie version of “Much Ado…” in order to be allowed the keys to the House of Ideas movie toy box…
Oh, “Fast & Furious 6” – I knew that your Superbowl teaser trailer wouldn’t let me down. Go watch it here. You’ll know it when you see it – it’s the one where everything is (A) blowing up (B) about to blow up or (C) is newly recovering from having recently been explodified.
Tank! Tank! Tank!
The word “AmazeBananas”, which I’ve just coined in reaction to this teaser, is the only possible response to it. Well, that and ‘remember when they just used to nick the odd DVD player or six – talk about changing your career trajectory’. The “Fast and Furious” crew, having stolen and wrecked most of downtown Rio in the last movie (spoilers!) armed with only a couple of muscle cars and some comedy bickering, have now graduated to the world stage. Witness the trailer, which zips from London to Ibiza and thence Germany with nary a breath taken between awesome car stunts and shots of the cast looking super-buff. We’re through the looking glass, people – it’s heist time, global style.
Vehicles flipping? But I thought this was a Merchant Ivory film?
Expect stunts, more stunts, some gratuitous booty shaking which reminds you that the import tuner scene doesn’t exactly pass feminist analysis with flying colours, Vin and Mr The Rock buff-bonding in a wholly non-homoerotic fashion (clothes-line!), European locations (oh, hai there, London Village!) and the most ludicrous, trailer-capping action sequence that I’ve seen since the train job in, oh, “Fast Five“. Cargo plane – that’s all I’m saying.
London, pictured shortly before a visit from Vin Diesel and The Rock rendered it a smoking hole in the ground.
Cars with ramp attachments – seems legit…
The gang’s all here(ish).
By the looks of things, the only way to ramp up the seemingly inevitable seventh entry in the series is to set it on Mars (Don’t give Justin Lin any ideas).
Want now. Is it May yet?
As you may know, Sunday 3rd February 2013 will see devout fans of rugby with padding sit down across the US to watch the Superbowl. This, for the still uninitiated, involves a great deal of theatrical fuss and sportsball-based pageantry before the real point of the day arrives – advanced trailers for summer movies.
To which end, that most inexplicable of modern marketing trends rears its ugly crown anew – trailers for trailers. We’re through the looking-glass, people – ads for ads. What a strange world we find ourselves residing in, and no mistake.
You’ll be able to see new spots for “Iron Man 3”, “Star Trek Into Darkness”, “The Lone Ranger” and “Fast 6” amongst others – and I’m reasonably sure that they’ll be more interesting than lots of financially well-remunerated chaps thanking variously unfortunate deities for intervening in the success or otherwise of their Hand Egg-centric shenanigans.
It’s good to know where you stand sometimes – witness this clip, via IGN.com, from February’s “A Good Die To Die Hard”.
With each moment of glorious vehicular abuse, John McClane‘s caterpillar to butterfly like evolution from resourceful beat cop to blue-collar James Bond seems complete, doesn’t it? The beaten-down, right-guy-in-the-wrong-place vibe of the original movie has long since become unravelled by the need to pitch McClane into new and more exaggerated jeopardy with each sequel.
Remember this bit from “Live Free or Die Hard”/”Die Hard 4.0”? Yes, quite.
“Free Pussy Riot? Challenge accepted…”
If I were a harsher critic of this series, I’d say that this was more or less the point at which the franchise jumped the shark (and then killed it with a concealed rocket launcher), but I just can’t bring myself to get ticked off at the “Die Hard” flicks or their increasingly irascible hero. As Willis gets craggier and ever more likely to request that you damn kids get off his lawn with each movie, he somehow becomes more endearing – witness the bit in the first clip linked above where he punches out a Russian motorist to commandeer his vehicle.
The films now inhabit some kind of pleasant virtual realm where vacationing Jerseyite McClane can slug a random citizen with impunity and suffer barely a politsya scolding by way of consequence – five minutes browsing on YouTube will doubtless find you numerous videos indicating that such behaviour in Moscow will earn you a one way ticket to Slabville: Our Russian compatriots do not eff around.
“A Good Day To Die Hard” opens in cinemas in February. And a delightfully morally unambiguous slice of retro-mayhem it promises to be.