Tag Archives: Chuck Norris

“Expendables 2” posters – It’s a milliner’s dream!

Toughness comes in many forms.  Some dudes like to present a visual image of intimidation and go the bulk-up route,  body-building their way to success.  Others follow the ‘quiet, inner strength’ formula and let the unspoken menace do the talking.  Others fight fire with fashion – “If you want to get ahead…”, as the saying goes, “…get a hat“.

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Yep, there’s a new bunch of character posters for the Stallone toplined, Simon West directed “Expendables 2”, which look unintentionally hilarious when viewed together.

How so?  Well, you’ve got Sly above. Looking appropriately grizzled and time-served, quite in keeping with the premise of the series.

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Nobody’s going to argue with Jason Statham bringing back his specific brand of cockney bad-assery to the franchise – nice facial expression, Jase, loving the grimace, very on-message.

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Dolph Lundgren – no argument from me.  Could he look any more 80’s action hero gone bad?

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Liam Hemsworth – one of these chaps is not like the others.

I’m assuming his casting (and puppy dog good looks) are a deliberate and plot-driven decision, as it’s hard to see the audience who fell in love with him in The Hunger Games being that motivated to check out a testosterone-driven action flick with a cast largely composed of blokes old enough to be their Dad.  I’ve been proven wrong before, mind you.

We’re still waiting for a decent trailer – apparently one was just shown behind closed doors to industry types attending this week’s CinemaCon in Las Vegas, and as these posters are now in the wild, it can’t be too long until we get to see what the mayhem looks like in motion.

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The Old Boys Club

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Now that we’re past that whole messy ‘Chuck Norris doesn’t do swearing’ controversy which threatened to transform Sly Stallone‘s The Expendables 2″ from a proudly retro, manic action slugfest into a polite and socially acceptable family fun farrago  – it’s still R-rated in the States and will probably again be 18-rated in the UK – we can get back to the important business of looking at pictures of elderly gentlemen shooting randomly at things.

In a break with tradition, you’ll notice in the MTV Movies Blog still above that our Chuck is rocking the Indigo-lensed sunglasses with his absurdly over-sized rifle – a bold fashion statement which contrasts nicely with his urban combat wear and charming baseball cap.  It’s a look, non?

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And – ooh, what a beauty of a picture.  Sly, Arnold and Bruce together again and shooting at things in the middle distance with a bunch of recently smashed glass strewn around them – it’s like old times, friends.

“The Expendables 2” kicks down your door, interrogates your cat and makes a general mess of your carpet on August 17th in the US and UK.

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Chuck Norris kicks cursing to the curb…

I don’t know how to feel about this news.

Chuck Norris’ participation in “The Expendables 2” was apparently contingent on the swearing being excised from the screenplay, reports reveal today – here’s Empire Online’s take.

The retirement home's monthly outing got ugly really quickly...

The iconic Martial Arts star does not do bad language and deferred his sign-up to the Sylvester Stallone-fronted OAP shoot-em-up until any hint of Anglo-Saxon verbiage in the script was kicked in the head, thrown through a window and summarily set on fire.  I like to think that’s how the writers got rid of the cursing – the truth may be far more prosaic.

In any case, whilst I normally find swearing in movies to be a sign that all concerned have abandoned wit altogether and just pursued the easiest possible way to give the appearance of being edgy and outlaw-like, I do find Chuck Norris’ attitude to be a little absurd in this context.

So, it’s okay to beat the crap out of everyone, shoot lots of people in the head, break no end of limbs and generally pursue as much violence as the running time of the film will allow, just so long as little Jimmy and Jennifer don’t hear any harsh language in the process?

Having watched the first, rather underwhelming movie, I’m not in any real hurry to see 2012’s iteration of Sly’s latest late career franchise, particularly as it struck me as a film rather in denial of what it actually was.  A lot of the press before the movie wanted you to believe that “The Expendables” was a contemporary riff on the ‘Last Badasses Standing’ genre of action flick – a latter-day take on “The Wild Bunch” made for an audience more used to seeing antiseptic, CGI-enhanced superhero pictures than films with beaten-up stuntmen, practical effects and anti-heroes who bleed all over the place.

What we got instead was a pumped-up, splatter-fest “A-Team” adventure with Stallone’s all-star cast of macho action heroes running away from explosions in slow motion and hapless stunt folk being shot to pieces with guns the size of small family cars, all in the name of Freedom, Justice and other ephemeral concepts popular in the uncomplicated action cinema of the 1980’s and early to mid 1990’s.

I can personally do without sanitized action films, so the knowledge that “The Expendables 2” is PG 13 in the US makes it a Blu Ray rental rather than a cinema visit, at least as far as I’m concerned.  Your mileage may vary, but I find it more than a little weird that kids are admitted to a violent, bloody action flick just so long as harsh language is excised from the proceedings.

Hypocrisy, much?

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