Tag Archives: Fast Five

Fast and Furious 6 – The Explodening?

Oh, “Fast & Furious 6” – I knew that your Superbowl teaser trailer wouldn’t let me down.  Go watch it here.  You’ll know it when you see it – it’s the one where everything is (A) blowing up (B) about to blow up or (C) is newly recovering from having recently been explodified.

Tank!  Tank!   Tank!

Tank! Tank! Tank!

The word “AmazeBananas”, which I’ve just coined in reaction to this teaser, is the only possible response to it.  Well, that and ‘remember when they just used to nick the odd DVD player or six – talk about changing your career trajectory’.  The “Fast and Furious” crew, having stolen and wrecked most of downtown Rio in the last movie (spoilers!) armed with only a couple of muscle cars and some comedy bickering, have now graduated to the world stage.  Witness the trailer, which zips from London to Ibiza and thence Germany with nary a breath taken between awesome car stunts and shots of the cast looking super-buff.  We’re through the looking glass, people – it’s heist time, global style.

Vehicles flipping? But I thought this was a Merchant Ivory film?

Vehicles flipping? But I thought this was a Merchant Ivory film?

Expect stunts, more stunts, some gratuitous booty shaking which reminds you that the import tuner scene doesn’t exactly pass feminist analysis with flying colours, Vin and Mr The Rock buff-bonding in a wholly non-homoerotic fashion (clothes-line!), European locations (oh, hai there, London Village!) and the most ludicrous, trailer-capping action sequence that I’ve seen since the train job  in, oh, “Fast Five“.  Cargo plane – that’s all I’m saying.

London, shortly before a visit from Vin Diesel and The Rock rendered it a smoking hole in the ground.

London, pictured shortly before a visit from Vin Diesel and The Rock rendered it a smoking hole in the ground.

 

Cars with ramp attachments - seems legit...

Cars with ramp attachments – seems legit…

The gang's all here(ish).

The gang’s all here(ish).

By the looks of things, the only way to ramp up the seemingly inevitable seventh entry in the series is to set it on Mars (Don’t give Justin Lin any ideas).

Want now.  Is it May yet?

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A movie pirate’s top ten.

Over at Gawker, they’re reporting on upstanding, reputable news site Torrent Freak’s list of the top ten most downloaded movies of the year and there’s a few surprises to be had.

There’s no place for titles like “Harry Potter & The Deathly Hallows Part 2”, no “Transformers: Dark of the Moon”, no “Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides” – the top three titles are “Fast Five”, “The Hangover Part 2” and “Thor” – a selection of sequels and a comic book movie leading the chart.

A movie pirate, yesterday...

Such snarking aside, it’s intriguing to see that outlaw heist hit, “Fast Five” topped the list and still managed to be the highest grossing entry in the series by some distance (easily a quarter-mile or so).  It doesn’t appear to follow that the most torrented movies of the year are ones which experience torrid times at the global box office, as the top three were all sizeable hits.

Further down the list, though, we’ve got a franchise wannabe in the form of “I Am Number Four” – that film ended up grossing a middling $55 million at the US box office and a further $89 million worldwide.  Not exactly numbers to be sniffed at but not the sort of figures which justify an ongoing franchise – and I’m sure that the producers of the movie must look at the presence of their film on this list and wonder if some of those downloading the film might have liked to drop a couple of pounds, dollars, euros or the like on a rental to pay them back a bit?

I know, I know – the deranged logic of a clueless blogger.  My bad.

 

 

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