Tag Archives: Germany

Fast and Furious 6 – The Explodening?

Oh, “Fast & Furious 6” – I knew that your Superbowl teaser trailer wouldn’t let me down.  Go watch it here.  You’ll know it when you see it – it’s the one where everything is (A) blowing up (B) about to blow up or (C) is newly recovering from having recently been explodified.

Tank!  Tank!   Tank!

Tank! Tank! Tank!

The word “AmazeBananas”, which I’ve just coined in reaction to this teaser, is the only possible response to it.  Well, that and ‘remember when they just used to nick the odd DVD player or six – talk about changing your career trajectory’.  The “Fast and Furious” crew, having stolen and wrecked most of downtown Rio in the last movie (spoilers!) armed with only a couple of muscle cars and some comedy bickering, have now graduated to the world stage.  Witness the trailer, which zips from London to Ibiza and thence Germany with nary a breath taken between awesome car stunts and shots of the cast looking super-buff.  We’re through the looking glass, people – it’s heist time, global style.

Vehicles flipping? But I thought this was a Merchant Ivory film?

Vehicles flipping? But I thought this was a Merchant Ivory film?

Expect stunts, more stunts, some gratuitous booty shaking which reminds you that the import tuner scene doesn’t exactly pass feminist analysis with flying colours, Vin and Mr The Rock buff-bonding in a wholly non-homoerotic fashion (clothes-line!), European locations (oh, hai there, London Village!) and the most ludicrous, trailer-capping action sequence that I’ve seen since the train job  in, oh, “Fast Five“.  Cargo plane – that’s all I’m saying.

London, shortly before a visit from Vin Diesel and The Rock rendered it a smoking hole in the ground.

London, pictured shortly before a visit from Vin Diesel and The Rock rendered it a smoking hole in the ground.

 

Cars with ramp attachments - seems legit...

Cars with ramp attachments – seems legit…

The gang's all here(ish).

The gang’s all here(ish).

By the looks of things, the only way to ramp up the seemingly inevitable seventh entry in the series is to set it on Mars (Don’t give Justin Lin any ideas).

Want now.  Is it May yet?

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Filed under Films, Geekery, Movie Trailer

Power Metal Artwork of the Day – Blind Guardian

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And to finish out the week, an arguable classic slice of European Power Metal – with sleeve art almost precision designed to irk the irksome, traumatise tiresome hipsters and cause kvlt elitists to kvetch.

Germany’s Blind Guardian are perhaps best described as occupying a space somewhere between Iron Maiden, Helloween and – I guess – Dream Theater.  We’re talking songs directly inspired by double-bass drums played at a hundred miles an hour, proggy time signatures and lyrics directly referencing fantasy literature, as amply demonstrated by an album which many fans would claim as their favourite – the J.R.R. Tolkien/”Silmarillion“-inspired Nightfall in Middle-Earth.

To the artwork – it’s a painting of Luthien dancing in front of Morgoth, painted by Andreas Marshall.  I confess to having something a blind spot for Tolkien’s novels, something which I propose to address in the near future via the medium of a series on the blog – is it ambitious to read “The Hobbit” and the whole “Lord of the Rings” cycle before part one of Peter Jackson’s “The Hobbit” opens at the end of the year?  I like to think not, but I’m ever one for taking on challenges which ask more than I can reasonably cope with.  It’s an epic fantasy thing, people – realise…

What the cover doesn’t capture is just how delightfully cheesy the spoken word portions of the album are – for viewers used to the earnest storytelling of the Jackson cinematic trilogy, this album’s (let’s be honest) amateur dramatic performance of the Tolkien material is a splendid thing.

 And it’s a killer record – if you like your heavy metal to be bold, powerful, driving and unabashedly unfashionable, Blind Guardian do this kind of stuff better than anybody else.  If your new D&D campaign needs a stirring musical accompaniment to really get those 20-sided die flying, you need this record on your iPod/stereo pronto…

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Filed under Books, Films, Music

Wacken on the water?

Heavy Metal-themed cruises are not exactly a new idea – Barge To Hell, anyone?

But until now, they’ve involved a lot of travel to get to the embarking port – well-heeled (or childless) metal heads who fancy a cruise-based holiday with their better halves now have a European option for this kind of holiday and it’s coming from the people who bring you the legendary Wacken festival every summer.

Full Metal Cruise – all the fun of a festival, on the highest of seas?

You can expect the usual delights of one of these holidays – as much food as you can consume, excursions and shore-based activities, libations and regular gigs on board with 20 bands promised for the inaugural event.

To me, it sounds kind of like bliss but my delightful dog Hagrid’s needs come first, so I’ll be sitting this particular voyage of the damned out for now – a metallic cruise where the scenery changes regularly, the bands are fantastic and the viking vibes are ever-present?  If that’s not a holiday to remember, I don’t know what is.

 

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Filed under Geekery, Music