Tag Archives: Live Free or Die Hard

Yippee Ki-Ay, Muddled Farmers!

 

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Oh, John McClane – what absurdity have your corporate masters wrought?

News reaches us today that Twentieth Century Fox, noted purveyors of the cinematic arts, have taken the proverbial low road and are releasing “A Good Day to Die Hard” with a 12A rating.  The BBFC, our film classification organisation, offered Fox an uncut 15 certificate – the closest US equivalent being the R rating – but Fox took the BBFC’s advice on the necessary trims to get the rating down to a level suitable for the UK’s sugar-addled tween boys to behold.

In related news, I’m bailing on this franchise.

I have no problem with reducing the level of violence in a movie – given the choice between thrilling adventure and bloody conflict, I’m fine with dialling back the gore – but I do have problems with a distributor lying to an audience about the actual tone of their film in order to make a double-dip cash-grab.  Remember the ‘uncut’ release of “Die Hard 4.0” on DVD and Blu-Ray?  Yep, pretty much the same film as the theatrical cut bar some more unfettered cursing and stupid digital blood.

We can only expect Fox to push a bogus, unexpurgated cut in due course which presents the preferred, definitive experience for cineastes – wouldn’t it be better to have the courage of your convictions and make an actual, honest-to-goodness, “Die Hard” movie again?  Or is that just a notion which boggles minds over at Fox?

I call reboot, people.  Free McClane!

 

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The name’s McClane…John McClane.

It’s good to know where you stand sometimes – witness this clip, via IGN.com, from February’s “A Good Die To Die Hard”.

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With each moment of glorious vehicular abuse, John McClane‘s caterpillar to butterfly like evolution from resourceful beat cop to blue-collar James Bond seems complete, doesn’t it?  The beaten-down, right-guy-in-the-wrong-place vibe of the original movie has long since become unravelled by the need to pitch McClane into new and more exaggerated jeopardy with each sequel.

Remember this bit from “Live Free or Die Hard”/”Die Hard 4.0”?  Yes, quite.

"Free Pussy Riot? Challenge accepted..."

“Free Pussy Riot? Challenge accepted…”

If I were a harsher critic of this series, I’d say that this was more or less the point at which the franchise jumped the shark (and then killed it with a concealed rocket launcher), but I just can’t bring myself to get ticked off at the “Die Hard” flicks or their increasingly irascible hero.  As Willis gets craggier and ever more likely to request that you damn kids get off his lawn with each movie, he somehow becomes more endearing – witness the bit in the first clip linked above where he punches out a Russian motorist to commandeer his vehicle.

The films now inhabit some kind of pleasant virtual realm where vacationing  Jerseyite McClane can slug a random citizen with impunity and suffer barely a politsya scolding by way of consequence – five minutes browsing on YouTube will doubtless find you numerous videos indicating that such behaviour in Moscow will earn you a one way ticket to Slabville:  Our Russian compatriots do not eff around.

“A Good Day To Die Hard” opens in cinemas in February.  And a delightfully morally unambiguous slice of retro-mayhem it promises to be.

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Like father, like gun…

 

If it’s Monday, I must be destroying large swathes of Moscow…

How can the same shizz happen to the same guy…five times?

Yes, after Len Wiseman‘s Die Hard 4.0 (“Live Free or Die Hard to folks Stateside) relaunched John McClane‘s cinematic adventures a few years ago, we’re due another go-round with NYC’s most lethal killing machine/proud pop.

Another tough day at the office…

And, indeed, it appears that this instalment of the “Die Hard” series is ‘take your kid to work day’, as McClane Junior is along for the ride and the proverbial apple

And here it is – the first teaser trailer for February 2013’s “A Good Day to Die Hard”, directed by bonkers Irishman John Moore (his previous work includes “Max Payne“, “The Omen” remake, “Flight of the Phoenix” and “Behind Enemy Lines“).

Things explode, young women are incapable of keeping their clothes on around him, Ode to Joy is playing all the time – it’s as comfortable as a pair of worn-in shoes, frankly.

See you down the front on February 14th (or thereabouts), fight fans.

 

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