Tag Archives: Metal Hammer

Today’s Band You’ll Hate – Blood On The Dance Floor…


Gentlemen, Jareth from “Labyrinth” called – the Goblin King wants his hair back…

You may blame/praise Merl at Metal Hammer magazine for this one – as host of the venerable UK rock magazine’s podcast, he today introduced me to Floridian Crunkcore scene kids, Blood on the Dance Floor and befuddled my poor mind.

As observed on the podcast, the band look like the dark aftermath of a backstage fight between Black Veil Brides, ‘Shout at the Devil‘ era Motley Crue and British Black Metal loons, Cradle of Filth (they of the charming ‘Jesus is a C…’ t-shirt), yet sound all electronic, spacey and not very metal at all.

My poor brain – it is confused.

Have a listen to the band’s “Unforgiven” on You Tube – it’s like the video mastering facility accidentally mashed up some 80’s glam band’s power ballad video with some hipster European indie-dance track and this absurdity ensued.

All very big with The Kids, I don’t doubt – though a tune would be just peachy…


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Run To The Hills!


Tired of Olympic hype?  Try living in the UK.  Your humble (and normally quite reasonable) blogger has had it up to his Musketeer-style chin beard with all things sporting after a year or so of relentless build-up to London 2012 and would happily go into suspended animation until the whole thing is over.

Go Jess!

As a dyed-in-the-wool, adopted Sheffielder, I obviously wish Jessica Ennis well in her heptathlon campaign but I really would rather ignore the vast majority of the Olympics – a feat made quite challenging by the approximately 906 channels being devoted by the BBC to the imminent hostilities  glorious sporting spectacle about to unfurl.

To distract those of you who can’t get that excited by athletes doing things slightly more quickly than they did them previously, take in the joyful image above of Iron Maiden‘s mascot Eddie, as originally found on the Metal Hammer website.

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Epica – Symphonic Christmas

More proof, compadres, that Google is your buddy.


Epica are only playing Corporation in Sheffield just before Christmassymphonic metal festive season frenzy ahoy!

They released their latest record, “Requiem For The Indifferent”, earlier this spring and I fully intend to get around to listening to it in due course – with the prospect of seeing their live show now acting as a strong motivator for me to dig back into the Epica catalogue and test the structural integrity of my already bowing CD shelves by acquiring their stuff (downloading from iTunes isn’t quite the same, to be honest – there’s not the same romance to browsing a PDF of the liner notes that you get from even a cursory glance at the CD booklet).

Think big riffs, soaring female vocals, gruff male singing and a sound composed of equal parts prog noodling, very melodic metal and even some approachable classical influence chucked in for the music students.  Yes, they’re very much a part of the ‘corset metal’ movement recently decried by the Metal Hammer podcast (somebody play them some Machine Head to distract them – stat!), but that’s my favourite style of rock, so I don’t see a problem with the designation.

Wednesday December 12th can’t get here quickly enough…



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“Game of Thrones” theme goes Metal.


Dinklage throws the horns and all is well in the world...


Via our dear friends at the UK’s most heavily metallic publication, Metal Hammer, comes a link to a none-more-metal cover version of the theme song to “A Game of Thrones” (AKA, that show that I know I’ll love and still haven’t watched).  If you can think of a TV show more deserving of such musical treatment, you’re a finer nerd than I (if you just said My Little Pony – Friendship is Magic, please feel free to depart the blog forthwith).


Frankly, what’s not to like?  Erstwhile shredder and YouTuber ERock331 also does bad-ass covers of the themes from Doctor Who (yes, yes – thrice YES!), Back to the Future and other geek-friendly loveliness over on his YouTube channel and confirms his (newly-confirmed, by me) status as a gentleman, scholar and delightful nerd.

Respect is, quite clearly, due…

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On Dragons and St George…

In the UK, it’s St George’s Day today.

Yay! It's a national day - let's kill a mythological beast!

Don’t worry if that means absolutely nothing to do you – it doesn’t really seem to register for many of us Brits either.  When it comes to holidays meant to celebrate our greatness as a nation or instill any sense of national pride in us, it’s very much the British way to sweep such things under the proverbial carpet and hope that nobody makes too much of a fuss when we ignore them.

National pride and that sort of thing  – a contemporary Briton craves not these slightly disconcerting and uncomfortable things.  That way lies…unpleasantness.

Anyway, in the spirit of ignoring St George and his lizard-phobic ways for another year, I’m taking a leaf from Metal Hammer today and scribbling a few lines about Dragons, Pop Culture and things that go awesome in the night.

Five Excellent Fictional Dragons!

1) Toothless – from How To Train Your Dragon

Adorable, heroic and capable of snapping your cynical heart in two (despite existing solely on render farms and server blades and that kind of digital carry-on), the star of DreamWorks’ “How To Train Your Dragon” is the kind of mythological fellow that you pull for even as you realise that he’s a fictional creation and, let’s be real here, doesn’t exactly need my help to rock the house.

2) Lockheed, from the “X-Men” universe.

Appearances can be deceptive...

You want another reason X-Men: The Last Stand was well, pretty rubbish?  Kitty Pryde appears in Brett Ratner‘s superheroic flim-flam fest, thus wasting our time and a perfectly cast Ellen Page‘s, and doesn’t get to bring her best alien bud with her.  No sale.  Lockheed, however, is still made of Rock.

3) DragonForce

All men play at 800MPH. Or so I'm told...

Regular readers of this blog will know (and may well lament) my regrettable propensity towards loving the sub-genre of Heavy Metal known as Power Metal.  Songs about our Dragon friends are not only the abiding song subject of choice for bands like these – they’re so dominant a topic that it’s almost a meme in metal-loving circles at this point.

As I’m totally down with the high-pitched squeals and widdly-widdly guitar solos which resonate in this sub-genre, it’s a done-deal that I’m going to be a DragonForce fan.

Need a reason?  THIS should suffice.

4) Fell Beast/Winged Nazgul, “Lord of the Rings”

This is why you just grab a giant eagle and head straight for Mount Doom...

There’s some contention to be had about whether these guys are proper dragons or not – I fancy that they’re possessed of physical characteristics which make them as near as dammit Dragons – your fantasy nerd mileage may vary.  They swoop, they terrify, they convey fairly unpleasant villains on their scaly backs as they lay waste to cities.

So, Dragons, then.

5) Haku, “Spirited Away”.

Best Miyazaki movie ever? I dunno, but it's a work of genius...

Because sometimes the best dragons are cursed boys who’ve forgotten their real names and stuff…

There, barely a single song from a European Power Metal band about slaying the blighters – I’d call that a result…


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Metal Soundtracks for Friday the 13th…

Alice? What's the matter?

Over at the Metal Hammer blog, writer and podcaster extraordinaire Merlin Alderslade presents a list of top quality metal soundtracks to listen to on this most numerically challenging of Fridays.

I will, of course, concur with his choice of the excellent soundtrack to the first Resident Evil film (the first place that I heard Slipknot, fact fans) which features a selection of Marilyn Manson‘s score cues, Rammstein, The Crystal Method and improbably-barnetted nu-metallists Static-X.   Happy days.

Horror and Metal, after all, go together like fine Italian coffee and a deliciously crunchy piece of biscotti – perfect bedfellows that it would be foolish to try and separate.


If I had to choose one thing to listen to on this particular Friday which perfectly marries these two socially unacceptable and outcast genres, then I’m going back to the Eighties for a slice of glorious, retro hard rock from Dokken and their theme for the third “Nightmare on Elm Street” movie, ‘Dream Warriors’

And, yes – Don Dokken’s fluffy 80’s hair is by far the most terrifying thing in the video…


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Kiss on “Dancing With The Stars”. End of irony imminent.

Trust KISS bass monster Gene Simmons to see an emerging market and grab it with both hands (or possibly his astonishing tongue.  You know what he’s like).

In words that I never thought I would have to type, last night saw arena rock titans KISS playing live on a ‘Rock Week’ edition of BBC-created reality contest, “Dancing With The Stars”.

Have some of THAT, middle American fanbase, confused viewers and KISS army maniacs!

Cue assorted pro-dancers gamely donning their best “Alive!” era stage garb and cavorting in a PG-rated fashion as the pyro explosions did their best to be louder than Gene’s rather questionable vocals.

KISS bass-player and lead venture capitalist Gene Simmons, pictured in a normal day at the office...

You can behold what it all looked like at Metal Hammer magazine’s blog – and take in some Steel Panther action, too.  I apologise in advance for Satchel’s trousers.  Let’s just put them behind us and move on with our lives…

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