Tag Archives: Paul Walker

Agent 47 lives to kill again (silently)…

Did anybody really want a “Hitman” reboot?  Twentieth Century Fox apparently did, as their 2007 movie with Timothy Olyphant, based on Eidos‘ series of stealth-based action games has a new titular killer in the form of…

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Paul Walker.

Yep, I’m as bemused as that casting as you possibly are.  He’s arguably not the actor who comes to mind when you think ‘cold-blooded, genetically-engineered assassin’, but I await with interest to see how he’s going to circumvent the typecasting that I’ve saddled the “Fast and Furious” star with.

Directing this time around is commercials graduate Aleksander Bach, whose ad work is at the link.  I leave you to draw your own conclusions – but as I detest adverts with every fibre of my being, I shall recuse myself from further discussion of his work (He seems to get all of the perfectly-sculpted, model butts nicely into the frame in the “Tom Tailor” advert, doesn’t he?).

For my money, we’d be better off with this gentleman as Agent 47:

Golden-voiced, stylishly menacing English gent, Mark Strong.

Golden-voiced, stylishly menacing English gent, Mark Strong.

He’s got the look, he can do menacing in his sleep and is a genuinely brilliant actor.  But I suspect that Fox would rather have a simpler proposition which they know how to sell.  If it’s cheap enough, I suppose that it will have been worth the effort to reboot the franchise, but something tells me that we’ll end up with a film which is near-identical to the not brilliant, not terrible Xavier Gens effort.

I live to be proven wrong – it’s about time that we had a decent, popcorn action flick based on a video game I.P. and this is one premise that should be hard to mess up too much.

 

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Fast and Furious 6 – The Explodening?

Oh, “Fast & Furious 6” – I knew that your Superbowl teaser trailer wouldn’t let me down.  Go watch it here.  You’ll know it when you see it – it’s the one where everything is (A) blowing up (B) about to blow up or (C) is newly recovering from having recently been explodified.

Tank!  Tank!   Tank!

Tank! Tank! Tank!

The word “AmazeBananas”, which I’ve just coined in reaction to this teaser, is the only possible response to it.  Well, that and ‘remember when they just used to nick the odd DVD player or six – talk about changing your career trajectory’.  The “Fast and Furious” crew, having stolen and wrecked most of downtown Rio in the last movie (spoilers!) armed with only a couple of muscle cars and some comedy bickering, have now graduated to the world stage.  Witness the trailer, which zips from London to Ibiza and thence Germany with nary a breath taken between awesome car stunts and shots of the cast looking super-buff.  We’re through the looking glass, people – it’s heist time, global style.

Vehicles flipping? But I thought this was a Merchant Ivory film?

Vehicles flipping? But I thought this was a Merchant Ivory film?

Expect stunts, more stunts, some gratuitous booty shaking which reminds you that the import tuner scene doesn’t exactly pass feminist analysis with flying colours, Vin and Mr The Rock buff-bonding in a wholly non-homoerotic fashion (clothes-line!), European locations (oh, hai there, London Village!) and the most ludicrous, trailer-capping action sequence that I’ve seen since the train job  in, oh, “Fast Five“.  Cargo plane – that’s all I’m saying.

London, shortly before a visit from Vin Diesel and The Rock rendered it a smoking hole in the ground.

London, pictured shortly before a visit from Vin Diesel and The Rock rendered it a smoking hole in the ground.

 

Cars with ramp attachments - seems legit...

Cars with ramp attachments – seems legit…

The gang's all here(ish).

The gang’s all here(ish).

By the looks of things, the only way to ramp up the seemingly inevitable seventh entry in the series is to set it on Mars (Don’t give Justin Lin any ideas).

Want now.  Is it May yet?

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