Oh, “Fast & Furious 6” – I knew that your Superbowl teaser trailer wouldn’t let me down. Go watch it here. You’ll know it when you see it – it’s the one where everything is (A) blowing up (B) about to blow up or (C) is newly recovering from having recently been explodified.
Tank! Tank! Tank!
The word “AmazeBananas”, which I’ve just coined in reaction to this teaser, is the only possible response to it. Well, that and ‘remember when they just used to nick the odd DVD player or six – talk about changing your career trajectory’. The “Fast and Furious” crew, having stolen and wrecked most of downtown Rio in the last movie (spoilers!) armed with only a couple of muscle cars and some comedy bickering, have now graduated to the world stage. Witness the trailer, which zips from London to Ibiza and thence Germany with nary a breath taken between awesome car stunts and shots of the cast looking super-buff. We’re through the looking glass, people – it’s heist time, global style.
Vehicles flipping? But I thought this was a Merchant Ivory film?
Expect stunts, more stunts, some gratuitous booty shaking which reminds you that the import tuner scene doesn’t exactly pass feminist analysis with flying colours, Vin and Mr The Rock buff-bonding in a wholly non-homoerotic fashion (clothes-line!), European locations (oh, hai there, London Village!) and the most ludicrous, trailer-capping action sequence that I’ve seen since the train job in, oh, “Fast Five“. Cargo plane – that’s all I’m saying.
London, pictured shortly before a visit from Vin Diesel and The Rock rendered it a smoking hole in the ground.
Cars with ramp attachments – seems legit…
The gang’s all here(ish).
By the looks of things, the only way to ramp up the seemingly inevitable seventh entry in the series is to set it on Mars (Don’t give Justin Lin any ideas).
Want now. Is it May yet?
As you may know, Sunday 3rd February 2013 will see devout fans of rugby with padding sit down across the US to watch the Superbowl. This, for the still uninitiated, involves a great deal of theatrical fuss and sportsball-based pageantry before the real point of the day arrives – advanced trailers for summer movies.
To which end, that most inexplicable of modern marketing trends rears its ugly crown anew – trailers for trailers. We’re through the looking-glass, people – ads for ads. What a strange world we find ourselves residing in, and no mistake.
You’ll be able to see new spots for “Iron Man 3”, “Star Trek Into Darkness”, “The Lone Ranger” and “Fast 6” amongst others – and I’m reasonably sure that they’ll be more interesting than lots of financially well-remunerated chaps thanking variously unfortunate deities for intervening in the success or otherwise of their Hand Egg-centric shenanigans.
Hyped yet? Me, too.
It turns out that sport is good for something after all – who knew?
This Sunday’s Super Bowl featured many well-paid, overly padded men hitting one another (one word, boys – ‘rugby’) and much fuss and consternation about professional controversalist MIA shocking America by flipping the bird during Madonna’s half-time show (did anybody honestly not expect her to try to be the centre of attention?).
Yet the most interesting things to me about the Super Bowl are the absurdly expensive and deliberately positioned teaser trailers for summer blockbusters – this year saw 30 second spots advertising Disney’s “John Carter”, Universal’s “Battleship” and Relativity‘s awful looking actioner, “Act of Valor”, whose sole selling point appears to be that it stars real Navy SEAL members. Yep, that’s one film which will definitely do well outside the US.
The fraught task of single-handedly erasing the bad after-taste of the latter trailer, then, fell to Marvel’s “The Avengers”.
Imagine if Richard Branson had one of these suits - we'd never see the end of it.
It was, quite predictably, a riot of colour, crashes, bangs and mayhem – a paroxysm of superheroic shenanigans and one-liners (“We have a Hulk”), cities in fire and iconic Avengers united on-screen for the first time.
Now, this is how you do patriotic action...
I can understand that a lot of fans of Thor, Captain America and Iron Man have felt that their individual movies didn’t serve their characters well and acted as feature-length trailers for a team-up project which didn’t have the same value for them as a solo outing for Tony Stark or Steve Rogers would have done. I can appreciate that this would be irksome but the seven-year old nerd in me looks at this trailer and can’t wait for the end of April to roll around (May 4th in the US per this trailer).
Joss Whedon? Likes his hero shots? Surely some mistake?