Tag Archives: Twilight

The only “Breaking Dawn” review you’ll ever need…

For the record, Fluffrick is Team Selene. Or possibly Buffy.

Over at the Mary Sue is the only “Breaking Dawn,  Part One” review that I’ve read which really gets to the crux of the “Mind-controlling vampire boyfriend OR  pouty werewolf who’ll cop off with your daughter” debate that haunts my waking hours.  Yours too, I expect.

For full disclosure, I’m not going to hate on the “Twilight” phenomenon – I’ve not read any of the books, but I quite enjoyed the first film and found “New Moon” to be an endlessly boring nightmare with only one redeeming quality – the small but pivotal role for Michael Sheen, who improves any film that he’s in by a scientifically measurable ratio of 500%.  Despite “Eclipse” being directed by David Slade (who I have a lot of time for), I’ve still not worked up the energy to subject myself to a film which is supposed to be slower than “New Moon” – a notion which chills me so much that it should be used to preserve foodstuffs.

Alternatively, if you find Bella’s romantic travails a little on the twee side, The Mary Sue also has a story that you might like to read about a 17-year-old girl who may one day find a cure for cancer…

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New pics from “Underworld: Awakening” in the wild

Fearless Vampire Warrior or Suburban Goth Yummy Mummy off to see Cradle of Filth?

Den of Geek have some new images online from “Underworld: Awakening”, which now has a UK release date of January 20th 2012.

Oddly enough, this is the same weekend that Steven Soderbergh’s odd detour into action film-making,  spy thriller “Haywire” opens, starring MMA brawler turned actress Gina Carano.

You might think that these films might potentially share a cross-over audience and that releasing both on the same weekend is a curious idea, but I couldn’t possibly comment.

Charles Dance, subbing in for Bill Nighy as the obligatory Posh English Vampire Chief...

I missed it somehow, but there’s a second trailer for the film over at the official “Enter The Underworld” site and it looks…like an “Underworld” movie.  Such an array of leather duster coats, PVC outfitting and funky contact lenses on-screen that you’ll think you’ve woken up at Whitby Goth Weekend?  Check.  Ms Beckinsale glowering and throwing awesome shapes having just wiped out twenty stuntmen whilst barely perspiring? Check.  Huge, roaring werewolves with comic-book physiques, proverbially barking at the moon to the point that Metalheads will be expecting to see an Ozzy cameo? Check.

India Eisley in "Underworld Awakening". Or the goth Bratz movie sequel. One of the two...

Add to the usual stuff a slightly dodgy new character – Eve (India Eisley), who appears to be Selene and Michael’s daughter.  I tend to cede to my learned friend Dominic on these matters – he’s eternally mistrusting of any genre show or tv movie which introduces a new younger character, as this is the first sign of having teen angst drive the storytelling henceforth.

And that observation comes from a man who has subjected himself to each “Twilight” movie thus far despite not being remotely in the demographic. I’m going to guess that dropping Selene’s daughter into the mix is potentially clearing the way to have the films to continue once Kate Beckinsale decides that she’s had enough of leaping around in PVC and waging a campaign of zero tolerance against the oppressed lycanthropic community.

I’ve not seen India Eisley in her “The Secret Life of the American Teenager” telly series but her appearance in the trailer is giving me a slightly perturbing faux-mall goth vibe.   Not that this will preclude me from going to see the new “Underworld” – I’m there on the Saturday morning of the opening weekend, with all the crushing inevitability of night following day.

By the way, is there a vampire genre franchise entry currently in development where the undead can’t somehow contrive to produce offspring?  Is this some kind of cultural meme/nerd fan-fiction wish-fulfilment that I was previously unaware of?  I blame that Whedon bloke…

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“The Hunger Games” trailer is here

May the odds be forever in her favour...

After a decent build-up, with carefully timed casting announcements, magazine covers and online hype-building aplenty, Lionsgate have chosen this, of all weeks, to release the first proper trailer for their grab for the “Twilight” fans allowance, in the form of “The Hunger Games”.


And it looks…pretty good.  I’m certainly more keen to see what looks like a decent dystopian SF movie, set in the wake of an unnamed catastrophe, with inoffensively pretty characters and an air of palpable menace than I am to see the continuing romantic entanglements of Whiny Girl, Sir Abs-a-Lot and The Haircut.

I’ve read that the first novel is the only one to bother with, and on the evidence of this trailer, I might have to give it a whirl.

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